Love Isn't Enough Read online

  The telephone rang as Thomas sprinkled powdered sugar on Jason’s pancakes. He hoped it was his wife, calling to say she was on her way home. But a glance at the caller ID told him it was his best friend, Sam Johnson. Thomas smiled. This was probably his first smile since Hannah walked out on Friday. Sam was his boy. He had the ability to make him believe that everything would be all right. They’d been friends for a long time. They went to the same elementary school, same high school. Played on the same basketball team, went on double dates together. Married months apart from each other. They’d done everything together. Well, everything but…

  “You still coming to church with me today?” Sam asked after Thomas picked up the phone and said hello.

  Sam had given his life to Jesus without Thomas’s consent or approval. These days Thomas’s opinion didn’t seem to carry much weight with Sam. It was all about how the Lord expected him to live, and what he discovered in prayer. And now his boy was getting baptized. “Man, I totally forgot.”

  Sadness crept into Sam’s voice. “Don’t tell me that you won’t be there. This is a really big event in my life.”

  Thomas wasn’t a total heathen. He’d grown up in church after all. He knew how important baptism was. “I didn’t say I wasn’t coming. I just said I forgot. We’ll get dressed and meet you there in an hour.”

  5

  Hannah went to The Church on the Rock with Janice and her family. The praise and worship was electrifying. She couldn’t remember when she had last lifted her hands in praise, but as the praise leader ushered the congregation into the presence of the Lord, Hannah lifted her hands and worshipped God. After praise and worship seven congregants were baptized. Thomas’s friend, Sam was among them. Seeing Sam made her long for her husband. She lost a bit of her praise as her heart became burdened.

  When Pastor Frankson stood behind the podium, it was as if he made it his own personal business to preach her happy. She started wondering why she and Thomas didn’t attend church more often. When they were first married they discussed how they wanted to raise their family in church. Maybe the fact that she hadn’t been able to provide Thomas with a child had halted all thoughts of attending church. As if seeing into the depths of her wounded heart, Pastor Frankson started talking about how his children were the joy of his life. Tears rolled down Hannah’s face as she sat in her seat. She wanted so desperately to have a child. Someone to call her own. But maybe she had waited too long for marriage. She was thirty seven and her eggs had dried up.

  When Pastor Frankson finished preaching, he made an altar call. Hannah remembered her sister saying that God had a special place in His heart for crying women. She stood, and walked toward the altar. But she didn’t allow the altar workers to pray for her. She needed a direct line to God. Hannah bowed down at the altar, with tears streaming down her face she admitted to God that she was mad at her husband and mad at his son because she had been denied the opportunity of being a mother.

  Her lips were moving but no sound escaped as she continued to sob and pray; pray and sob. “Lord,” her silent lips proclaimed, “I feel so empty without a child of my own. My husband loves me, I know that. But I need to be able to give him a child. Please help me.”

  She then began to tell the Lord how sorry she was for neglecting to spend time with Him. “I’ve missed You, Lord. I won’t forget about You again. I promise.”

  6

  Thomas and Jason arrived at The Church on the Rock twenty minutes late. The place was so packed he doubted they would find a seat. But a kindly greeter hugged them and then directed them to a seat in the back. He missed praise and worship, but arrived just in time to give his offering to the Lord. He was so glad he hadn’t missed offering. From a child his mother and father taught him about bringing his first fruits into the house of the Lord. He’d always been diligent about doing just that. But the last few years had thrown him for a loop. He’d gotten off track with attending church. He hadn’t been a regular since he left his parent’s home. Thomas began to wonder if neglecting to pay his tithes might be the reason he ended up in so much debt.

  He quickly calculated his week’s earnings and put ten percent of that into the collection plate. When the pastor stood up to preach, Thomas spotted Hannah in the second row. Try as he might, he couldn’t keep his mind focused on the message; his eyes kept slipping in the direction of his wife. When the altar call was made and Hannah stood up looking lost, bewildered and tormented, Thomas couldn’t help but wonder if he was the cause of her pain. “Lord,” he proclaimed with his head bowed, “I won’t ever neglect to pay my tithes again, if You could just bring a bit of happiness into Hannah’s life.”

  He lifted his head just as his wife fell down at the altar. He wanted to go to her, but from the distance she looked like a mad woman… drunk even. As she cried and rocked, her mouth moved so fast, he doubted if any sound escaped at all. How could he go to her if he was the reason she was at the altar displaying herself in such a manner? Maybe it was time for him to let her go. He leaned over and told Jason, “Gather your things, we need to go.”

  The boy was on the floor playing with his X-Men figures. He looked up. “But nobody else is leaving,” Jason told him.

  Thomas picked the X-Men off the floor and stood. “Let’s go.”

  7

  Driving home, Hannah felt renewed. She couldn’t explain why she felt differently, except that she knew this time God had heard her prayer. She’d had an audience with the King. She’d received quite a few funny glances as she removed herself from the altar. She even heard a little boy ask his mother if she was drunk. But she didn’t care. Her time with God had been just what she needed. God had renewed her faith. She was now headed home to work on her marriage.

  She thought about calling Thomas to tell him she was on her way, but she had treated him so badly and had such evil thoughts of him the day she left, she was afraid of his response. She thought their reunion would go better if they were face to face, and he saw how sorry she was. Then maybe he would forgive her. As she pulled into their driveway she saw Thomas and Jason in the back yard tossing that baseball again. Irritation crept in as the sight of Thomas and his son reminded her of her deep longing for a child of her own. She tried to shake it off as she closed her eyes and prayed, “Lord, please don’t forget me. If you give me a child, I promise I will give him back to You. I will raise him to love and serve You.”

  What about the other child, Hannah? Who will give him back to Me?”

  Hannah’s mouth fell slack as she pressed her hand against her chest. “My Lord? Are you speaking to me? What child are you talking about?”

  I want Jason to serve me also, Hannah.

  Tears began to roll down her face as she realized that the Lord had seen her selfish behavior and He was not pleased with it. Was she really that selfish? Had she only thought of her own feelings and neglected all thought of what Jason needed? What she’d discovered today was that not only did she and Thomas need God in their lives, but Jason needed God also. At his young age, the only way Jason would come to know God would be through the adults he came in contact with. “Lord, forgive me. Help me to show that little boy Your love.”

  As she got out of the car the bitterness surrounding the two hundred a month Thomas sent to Jason’s mother slipped from her heart. With each step she took toward her husband and his child, she saw more of what Jason needed from her and less of what she thought he was taking. As she rounded the corner, she wiped at the tears on her face and tried to smile.

  Jason had the baseball in his hand. He was getting ready to toss it to Thomas, but when he spotted Hannah, he lowered the ball, then hid it behind his back. Hannah walked over to him, bent down in front of her adorable stepson. She held out her hand and asked, “Can I throw the ball to you, Honey?”

  Jason’s eyes widened. “You want to play with me?”

  Hannah wiped more tears from her face. “Yes, I want to play with you. Is that all right?”

  Jason wrapped
his small arms around her neck and squeezed. “Don’t cry Hannah, I’ll toss the ball to you.”

  8

  That night, when Thomas and Hannah went to bed with love in their hearts and the freedom to share it, they found comfort in each other’s arms. Their lovemaking had always been good. That was one of the things that kept them together through the first few months of their marriage. Even though the bill collectors had rung their phone all day long… Thomas had rung her bell all night long and helped her to forget the stress of the day.

  But tonight was different. As Thomas hungrily kissed his wife, a sensation went through his body that tilted his world. Thomas got the distinct impression that this moment in time had caused things to shift and change. He didn’t know why he felt this way, but his body began to tremble. Catching his breath, he asked, “Did you feel that?”

  “Oh yeah, baby, I feel it.”

  Thomas grinned, loving the fact that Hannah was enjoying being with him. “I’m not talking about that. Did a sensation that seemed electrifying just sweep through your body?”

  Shaking her head, Hannah asked, “Do you think we just had an earthquake or something?”

  Seeing how beautiful Hannah looked as she lay next to him, Thomas’s mind drifted away from the sensation that caught him off guard and he began concentrating on loving her again.

  The next morning they made love again. Thomas waited for the sensation that had overtaken him the night before to happen again, but it didn’t. He wondered about it, but not for long. Because the love he and Hannah shared was sensation enough for him.

  Epilogue

  “I don’t feel so good,” Hannah stated as she got out of bed. When her feet touched the floor, the sourness in her stomach made her gag. She ran to the bathroom and fell down in front of the toilet.

  Thomas ran behind her and pulled her hair back as Hannah threw up last night’s pizza, ice cream and cookies. “This is the second time this week that you’ve thrown up like this.”

  “I know,” Hannah said as she stood up and rinsed out her mouth.

  It had been almost two months since Hannah returned home from her sister’s house. She and Thomas had found their stride and had been getting along better than ever. Hannah had also let go of the bitterness she had felt towards Jason. His weekend visits were now a blessed event, rather than the inconvenience she had always thought them to be.

  “I think you need to go to the doctor,” Thomas said with a worried look on his face.

  “I don’t need a doctor. I’ve probably caught a flu bug or something.” Hannah walked out of the bathroom, with her mind set on turning out the lights, laying back down and pulling the covers over her head.

  Thomas climbed in bed and pulled her close to him. “You don’t feel warm, so I don’t think you have a fever.”

  Thomas’s words made Hannah realize that she didn’t feel sick… at least not flu symptom sick anyway. She sat up in bed as a grin began to spread across her face.

  “What – what is it?” Thomas asked as he sat up next to her.

  “I need you to go to the drug store.”

  Thomas rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock on their nightstand. “It’s just seven in the morning. The drug store isn’t open yet.”

  “Well then, go to Wal-Mart. I need you to pick up something and I need it now.”

  “I told you that you don’t have a fever. You can’t be that sick, Honey. It was probably just something you ate that upset your stomach.”

  “Or something we did,” Hannah said, with knowing eyes.

  But Thomas didn’t get it. “Huh? What could we have done that would upset your stomach?”

  Popping him upside the back of his head for being completely clueless, Hannah said, “I need a pregnancy test, Thomas!”

  Thomas jumped out of the bed. “Oh, my God. Do you really think it could be? Am I going to be a father again?”

  Nodding while tears ran down her face, Hannah said, “I think so, Thomas. Go get the test so we can see for sure.”

  Thomas threw on a jogging suit and then left the house. Hannah lay on her back, looking heavenward. She and Thomas had been attending church every Sunday for over a month now. They took Jason when he was with them on the weekends. But Hannah wasn’t thinking about any of the services she and Thomas had attended together. Right now her mind drifted back to that church service she had attended with her sister.

  When the service ended Hannah had thrown herself on the altar and cried and begged God to give her a child. And now as she touched her stomach, Hannah was confident that God had answered her prayer.

  God hadn’t done this wonderful thing for her because she deserved it. No, Hannah knew deep in her soul that God had blessed her with a child, simply because of His great love for her… and finally, she was able to let love be enough.

  Other Books by Vanessa Miller

  After the Rain

  How Sweet The Sound

  Heirs of Rebellion

  Feels Like Heaven

  Heaven on Earth

  The Best of All

  Better for Us

  Her Good Thing

  Long Time Coming

  A Promise of Forever Love

  A Love for Tomorrow

  Yesterday’s Promise

  Forgotten

  Forgiven

  Forsaken

  Rain for Christmas (Novella)

  Through the Storm

  Rain Storm

  Latter Rain

  Abundant Rain

  Former Rain

  Anthologies (Editor)

  Keeping the Faith

  Have A Little Faith

  This Far by Faith

  EBOOKS

  Love Isn’t Enough

  A Mighty Love

  The Blessed One (Blessed and Highly Favored series)

  The Wild One (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

  The Preacher’s Choice (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

  The Politician’s Wife (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

  The Playboy’s Redemption (Blessed and Highly Favored Series)

  Tears Fall at Night (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Joy Comes in the Morning (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  A Forever Kind of Love (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Ramsey’s Praise (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Escape to Love (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Praise For Christmas (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  His Love Walk (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Could This Be Love (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  Song of Praise (Praise Him Anyhow Series)

  AUTHOR BIO: Vanessa Miller

  Vanessa Miller of Dayton, Ohio, is a best-selling author, playwright, and motivational speaker. Her stage productions include: Get You Some Business, Don’t Turn Your Back on God, and Can’t You Hear Them Crying.

  Vanessa has been writing since she was a young child. When she wasn’t writing poetry, short stories, stage plays and novels, reading consumed her free time. However, it wasn’t until she committed her life to the Lord in 1994 that she realized all gifts and anointing come from God. She then set out to write redemption stories that glorify God.

  To date, Vanessa has written four complete series and one single title mainstream book. Her readership steadily grows with each new release as she is a consummate promoter of her works. Vanessa believes that each of her books touch the heart and soul of readers across the country in a special way. It is, after all, her God-given destiny to write novels that bring deliverance to God’s people. These books have received rave reviews, winning Best Christian Fiction Awards and topping numerous Bestsellers’ lists.

  •Essence Bestsellers’ List March 2008; May 2008 (Former Rain)

  •Essence Bestsellers’ List September 2008 (Rain Storm)

  •Black Expressions Book Club Alternate Selection 2007, 2008, 2009 & 2010

  •#1 Ebook for fiction on Amazon.com November 2010 (Long Time Coming)

  •#1 on BCNN/BC
BC Bestsellers’ List November 2010 (Long Time Coming)

  Vanessa is a dedicated Christian and devoted mother. She graduated from Capital University with a degree in Organizational Communication. In 2010, Vanessa was ordained by her church as a minister. Vanessa believes that God has called her to minister through her writings and help readers rediscover their place with the Lord.

  Most of Vanessa’s published novels depict characters that are lost and in need of redemption. The books have received countless favorable reviews.

  “. . . Heartwarming, drama-packed and tender in just the right places.”—Romantic Times Book Review.

  “Recommended for readers of redemption stories.” –Library Journal.